Big Scary Mission Trip
Hey All,
I just recently went on my first mission trip to Canada and wanted to share the experience with all of you. I hope you find entertainment, hope, and God's goodness and grace in my experience and who knows maybe it will inspire you to take a leap of faith.
Canada was an amazing experience for me. Not just because I got to go to a new country but because of the work God did in me while I was there. Last year Pastor Zach had asked me if I was interested in going on the mission trip to Canada. I automatically said yes, even though it was short notice and I still needed to get a passport and all the other things that go along with going on a trip. When I got home that night my sister reminded me we already had a trip planned for the exact dates of the mission trip.
Through the whole next year, God created a lot of situations in my life where I was forced to grow and mature in several areas. So, when Pastor Zach approached me this year about going on the mission trip, I really had to consider if I was wanting to go just to travel and mark international travel off my bucket list. Or if God was actually calling me to go and serve with our church.
While I was praying, we had the first informational meeting about the trip and what we would be doing in Canada. As soon as Pastor Zach mentioned that our team would be prayer walking and taking on childcare for the conference they were leading, my walls went up. I am not a kid person, I don’t feel like I am good at working with kids and just the thought of working with kids gives me anxiety. But I continued praying over the opportunity, still feeling like God was leading me to go on the trip.
The next meeting about the trip was coming up and I told God if the trip was one thousand dollars or less I would go. At the meeting Pastor Zach informed us that the cost would be exactly one thousand dollars. I was honestly stunned that it wasn’t more expensive. At this point, I knew God was trying to get my attention, but I decided to challenge him again. I told God that I saw His thousand dollars but gave Him the stipulation that I wouldn’t have to take any money out of my savings account to pay for the trip.
That evening I sat down and budgeted all my paychecks from then until the deadline to pay for the trip. Somehow the budget worked out where I would be able to fully pay for Canada and still be able to afford my bills and everything else I needed to pay.
I heard God loud and clear. I was going on this trip, no matter what. Once our team was set, we had another meeting to go over the specifics of the trip. Pastor Zach asked if there was anyone who would say working with kids was not their strong suit or preference. In a room of eight people I was the only one to raise my hand. He thanked me for my honesty and nobody else said anything, but it felt like an elephant in the room. At least for me. It made me even more nervous that I wasn’t doing the right thing or that I wouldn’t be of much help on this trip.
In this same meeting, the Pastor addressed me and the other single person on the trip. He encouraged us to reach out to the singles of New Song church. This also terrified me. I am introverted by nature, not someone who randomly goes up to people and just starts talking.
For probably a full month leading up to the trip I always had a nagging voice in the back of my mind that kept telling me I would fail at this trip. I was bad with kids and bad at connecting with people. Everything about this trip was out of my comfort zone and made me anxious. But at the same time God had been growing and maturing me over the last six months and I wanted to be obedient to Him. I knew He was leading me to this trip as a way to continue my growth. So through faith and obedience I boarded the plane.
On the first night it was great to connect with the team and meet Laura and Christian- the church planters we are partnered with at New Song church. We also got to meet Sarah and Billy who were coming to help with the singleness portion of the conference.
Friday was an easier day anxiety wise. Our group was helping Laura and Christian to prayer walk two towns where they are considering a new church plant. This was a great experience to come together and just pray over the people and neighborhoods. The most impactful part for me was praying over Trinity Western University. It really touched me as it is a Christian university that sounded so similar to Fresno Pacific University where I work. Friday was a great day to just connect with members of the team and get to know everyone a little more, and to get to know Laura and find encouragement and support with someone I had just met.
Saturday was the big day. It was the first day of the conference and the day where my childcare skills would be put to the test. I was anxious and just kept praying for calmness and to not let the anxiety and fear take over. I wanted to do a good job for our team and for New Song. I was paired with Bob from our team to teach the kindergarten through second grade class. Going in we knew the class size would be between fifteen and twenty kids. I was trying not to focus on what I knew was coming, distracting myself anyway that I could. About ten minutes before the kids were to arrive, Bob came over to me and asked how I was doing and told me he had been praying for my anxiety. He told me that he knew I would be great but that if I needed a break to just give him a signal that I needed to step out for a moment. He said he understood if I got overwhelmed and that it would be okay.
These kind words were exactly what I needed to hear. It meant so much to me that he would be praying for me and truly care about my needs instead of judging me for my weaknesses. Throughout the day Bob made sure to check in with me several times to make sure I wasn’t feeling overly anxious or overwhelmed. Through the grace of God I never once felt overwhelmed. I just did what was needed and made it through the day, helping with my assigned age group and also with the toddlers when needed.
Sunday our team again helped with childcare, as the conference was concluded during the Sunday worship service. Again, Bob and I worked together in the same age group. I felt even more comfortable working with Bob and the kids. Both days working with kids could have been surrounded by my anxiety but knowing that Bob and the rest of the team had my back with no judgement brought healing to my soul.
Once the service was over, New Song had a time of fellowship, and I knew another challenge stood in front of me. I needed to be extroverted and connect with the people of the church. As I walked down the hallway that led to the fellowship area, I raised a silent prayer for God to give me just one opportunity to talk to someone and to not let fear and anxiety make me ignore the opportunity.
As I walked into the fellowship area I congregated in a group of people that I knew while scanning the room for opportunity. I felt my anxiety heighten a little but also knew that this is what I was on this trip to do. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Pastor Zach handing a book to a young lady. I am an avid reader and writer so I knew this was my in. I walked over to them and asked the young lady what book Zach was giving her. This opened up the conversation, and I was able to hear her amazing testimony and how she came to Christ, along with just getting to know her and what her life was like at this stage. It was such an amazing opportunity to just connect with another believer.
Once we got back from the mission trip, I told Pastor Zach and Amber that I felt like I got so much more out of the trip than I had received. God blessed my obedience in so many ways. He helped me to be open and vulnerable with our team to grow closer relationships with them, and with Sarah and Billy, and Laura and Christian. God blessed me with a community and safe space to just be myself.
God was able to heal my past trauma working with kids that I didn’t even realize I had until a conversation with Karen- a member on our team. I knew there was other trauma surrounding my feelings with kids, but it was bigger than I realized. He used this experience to heal those deep wounds and change my negative internal narrative that I have held onto for way too long. There were several people on our team and Laura’s mom who affirmed that I did a wonderful job with the children which helped to change my internal narrative as well. It showed me that just because the people who are close to me have their judgements, it doesn’t have to define who I am in Christ.
The whole trip for me was a step out of my comfort zone but a step in obedience. Following in God’s obedience brought me immense blessings, a stronger and bigger Christian community, and more growth in my faith. If I had gone on last year’s mission trip, I don’t think I would have experienced the blessings and growth that I received on this trip. God’s timing is so perfect, and I will forever be blessed by the new friendships and blessing He gave me through this trip.
Much love,
Victoria