What Do You Expect?

  Hello Everyone,

Life is full of expectations. Expectations for ourselves, for others, for events, for basically everything that happens. We all expect things to be done a certain way, we expect people to act a certain way, we expect a lot out of ourselves too. And on top of all the pressures we put upon ourselves, society has its own expectations.

            When everyone around us has expectations for us, it can be hard to live up to all of them. We want to make everyone else happy and do what they want us to do. And a lot of the time our own expectations and wants get pushed to the side. Society says to do this, be this, look like this, and we want to fit in and be popular so we try to be what society has deemed to be “appropriate.” Our families want us to be this or do that, and we follow down those paths so that we don’t disappoint our parents, grandparents, siblings, etc. Our friends want to go here and do this trend, and participate in the all the things we don’t want to do. We go anyway so we don’t disappoint our friends, we do what they expect so that we don’t rock the precarious boat of friendship. We get so busy doing everything that everyone around us expects, that we are too exhausted to do what we want to do.

            We forget that at the end of the day, we have our own plans and expectations for our own lives. We are so tired from society expectations, friend and family expectations, that we don’t have time to do what makes us happy. And even though you may love hanging out with friends and family, and enjoy the time you spend together, it  can still be exhausting. It can still be another checkmark on your to-do list. Expectations, both internal and external, are hard to keep.

            The hard thing is people are always going to want something from you and you are always going to have your own things you want to accomplish. Making time for all of it is hard, and sometimes impossible. So here is my advice to you (and to myself). Do what is going to help you accomplish your goals. Do what is going to make you happy. Do what God wants you to do. I am really good about filling my calendar and staying busy and then being frustrated that I don’t have time to write or do other things that are important to me. I feel I don’t have time to rest and I’m continuously exhausted.

            But I am saying yes to everything and to everyone because I genuinely want to say yes to everything and everyone. The problem is when I say yes to everyone, I drown out God and myself. Its hard to recognize when I’m drowning myself out and when I’m not listening to God. I always start to notice I need to shift my focus when I make excuses to everyone around me on why I can’t do something, because all I want to do is sit on the couch and veg out on some television. I start to feel too drained to even participate in the hobbies that usually excite me.

            At this point, I know I have to make a change. Its time to put God back in the forefront and listen to what He is telling me. I’m not saying that He is against me going out with friends or family all the time, but its maybe time for a priority check. Am I prioritizing what God expects of me or what others (including myself) expect of me? There is any easy way to check. If I’m inline with God’s will I’m not going to feel overwhelmed and dreadful, but if I am following my own plan and those plans around me, I will.

            Its hard to feel like we are going to disappointment someone by saying no to plans. But sometimes it is necessary. Most likely our friends or family are going to be sad that we say no because they really want to see us, but most of the time they are going to understand. Most likely they have felt the same way sometime in their life. Who knows, they may even be experiencing it at the same time and are secretly glad you cancelled the plans. God didn’t create us to constantly be overwhelmed and overworked. He wants us to enjoy the time we have with the people He has put in our lives, not feel like it is an obligation. Doing what we love, shouldn’t bring more stress into our lives.

            So my advice is to forget about society expectations, friends expectations, family expectations, and just focus on God’s expectations. Focus on what you want for your life, not what other wants. At the end of the day, as long as you can say that you are happy and feel like you are living God’s purpose for your life, then you are on the right track. Something I need to remember as I head into a busy week. And as we head into a season of busyness with Thanksgiving and Christmas, remember to not overextend yourself. Make time for God and for yourself. And give yourself a little grace for not making every seasonal event a priority. Make God your first priority and do what is going to follow His plan. Because it’ll make you happier than anything else ever will.

Much love,

Victoria