Love Comes in All Shapes and Sizes
Hello All,
I have to be honest with all of you. I could not think of a single topic this month to write about. Nothing seemed to inspire me. I could think of some ideas but nothing seemed good enough to write about or I had already written a blog about the topic.
Of course , the go to topic would have been Valentine's Day and love but I wrote on that last year. The topic just seemed over done to me this year. I will say it is a terrible day for single people because I can be happy in my singleness all year long but Valentine's Day makes me feel like I should have someone. Everyone cramming their relationships and their gifts in my face (okay, all over social media) and it makes me feel like I am missing out on something. It makes me feel like I did something wrong by being single.
But here I am the day after Valentine's Day, still single but a lot less sad. It is crazy how because society says that a certain day is for happy couples, it makes me feel excluded and sad that I am not a part of a couple. A lot of the time being single at my advanced age (32 years old), makes people sad for me. They always try to comfort me about how I will find the one and there is someone out there for me even I just keep looking.
The funny thing is I stopped looking a long time ago. Society cannot or will not accept that someone of my age is happy being single. Of course, there are moments where I wish I had a husband and kids. I still imagine what my life would like if I had those relationships in my life, but the truth is I really enjoy being single.
You would not have heard me say that in my 20's. In my 20's I was all about finding the person who I was supposed to marry and having a family. I thought my life wouldn't be complete until I had a husband and kids. I begged God to send me the right man for me. I begged him to make the wrong man the right man for several years just because I so deeply thought that I would be happy once I had my own little family unit.
The more years that passed with no husband, I started to question if it was ever going to happen. Eventually I don't know when or where or how the shift in my mindset happened, but I stopped placing so much emphasis on my self worth by my relationship status. I had a mental shift that allowed me to realize that it didn't matter if I am married or single as long as I was happy with my life and following God's plan for my life. I could have forced things to work out with the wrong person or kept trying every dating app out there to find the right person but never of it felt right.
I took this as a sign from God to stop trying so hard to find someone. It was draining my happiness and my confidence. Since I have shifted my thoughts and prayers from "Lord let me find my husband" to "Lord your will not mine" I have been so much happier. I go and live my life and do the things I want that I may not be able to do with a husband and kids. Or that would be harder to do anyway.
I have also focused my mentality of the relationships I have in my life. Instead of focusing on the ones I don't have, i focus on the ones I do have. I have an amazing family in my parents, sisters, brother-in-law, and nieces and nephews. I get to build those relationships and care for them in a way that would be harder with my own family unit. I get to go out with my friends and have them over to my house whenever I want. I get to travel and do the things I want when I want. I have a sense of freedom being single that I wouldn't have being married.
Now I am not saying marriage is bad or that if it happens someday for me that I would be miserable. I just think with where I am at in life at this moment, God has blessed me in being single. He is using my singleness to shape and mold me into the person He wants me to be. He knew that if I was attached to someone, I would not give my time to the places it should go. I already complain about having too much to do and not enough time for myself.
All of this to say, if you are single and feeling sad or mad about it, God is using it. He loves you and wants to see you happy. He knows your heart's desire and if it is for a spouse and family, He hears those prayers. He is waiting for the perfect time, preparing you and your future spouse for the right moment.
If you are like me and happy being single, that is from God also. He has a mission so amazing for you in mind. He did not call everyone to be married (even though it can feel like that sometimes). It can feel like He forgot about you, but He hasn't. He knows the plan He has for you. So, when the world is telling you that you are excluded or not worthy because you don't have someone to love you don't listen. Love comes in so many different forms. God love, self-love, family, friends.
Married or single doesn't matter as long as you are happy and our living in God's will for your life. Personally, I can't wait to see where God leads me next as a single person.
So, I guess I did have more to say on love and Valentine's Day this year. When I started writing this post, I really had no idea where it was going so thank you for staying with me!
Much love,
Victoria